Revenge

When I was nine, my mother, father and I went to see my grandparents for Thanksgiving.  My aunt and uncle arrived and brought my little cousin, who is a ball of evil and has little or no boundaries.

But I didn't know this at the time. My Aunt had made me the most beautiful plate of delicious Barney-shaped cookies and told me that they were mine...and only mine.

In the utter bliss of the turkey and lovely cookies to come, I danced around the kitchen and ran to tell my mother about my Aunt's gift.  When I returned from my short outing, something was amiss.

I noticed my small cousin inching slyly towards my cookies.

I stared in utter cataclysmic disbelief as she picked up each cookie from the plate, licked it and set it back down.

Around this time, my small body went through a massive implosion of anger and frustrations.  One of my eye shrank while the other eye bulged and rolled of my head. I also grew fangs and fire exploded in every direction. 

My poor, little, 2 year old cousin was in mortal danger, for the furious beast that I had transformed into's main goal was to rip her apart to avenge my sweet Barney cookies.  She was going down.

But how...

And then it hit me like a large steam truck.

I remembered my cousin's intense fascination with her Barbie doll that she carried around at all times.  Since she was busy desecrating my possessions, her Barbie was no where in sight.  

REVENGE

I crept to her room, and found the Barbie on her bed. 

And so the lick fest of on.

I licked the hell out of that barbie. I licked its face, I licked its arms, I licked its legs, and finally when there was no more ground to cover, I stuck the entirety of the Barbie's head in my mouth.

While I was smiling to myself about the success of my ninja licking attack on my cousin, my family walked in.

And there I was...

We haven't been back to my grandparents for Thanksgiving since, partly because my grandparents were worried about my mental stability, my aunt and uncle were worried about their daughters mental health after the incident, and my mother was mortified.  But mostly because I gaged on Barbies head when my family walked in and puked on my grandparent's 3000 dollar rug.

Revenge, as it turns out, is not so sweet.